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Sometimes lifes sucks, but then something will happen that will change it all.


From Rockville, born and raised. 17. Single.
Please feel free to ask me anything.
Sex would be awesome right now.
Newest.
malinakerman: When I was a kid, I was really tiny. I wasn’t really active, but I had a very small body and I was the “ideal weight”, maybe even a little underweight, for an 8 year old. Then I went through puberty at age 9, and was told that we were going to be moving from my home state of Texas to a place I didn’t want to go, Maryland. I gained a lot of weight and became extremely depressed. In seventh grade, I was diagnosed with major depression and seasonal affective disorder due to the depression. I was overweight, unhappy, and I was cutting a lot. Cutting was something I attached to when I first moved to Maryland. I cut everyday, all over my arms. When my parents found out and forced me to see a therapist, I began cutting my legs. I hated myself so much that in eighth grade, I began popping pain pills and forcing myself to pass out so I didn’t have to stay awake during the day. I threw up my food after every meal for almost a year and the only reason I stopped was because I love dental hygiene (it’s a strange reason to stop, but after I read about how it affects your teeth, I was extremely scared I would do something bad to my teeth). I sobered up in 10th grade and didn’t cut for almost a year, but relapsed when I was dumped by a girlfriend of mine. I was depressed, I felt ugly and gross, and worst of all, in my mind, I was fat. I hated myself more than ever because of that one word that haunted my Tumblr asks and MySpace messages.  I have tried to kill myself over 20 times, landed myself in a mental hospital over Halloween, was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder, and relapsed a few more times after that. Earlier this year, I decided to stop hating my body. Although I have relapsed recently, and I don’t regret those times that I have, I began to love my body. Every stretch mark, every scar, and every bit of pudge I have. I love my fat. I love being overweight. I am not unhealthy, I am happy, I am fat, and I don’t see it as a bad word anymore. It’s a good thing to love your weight, no matter how big or small you are. I have never been happier with my body than I am right now. It’s hard for me to find jeans that fit my short height, big legs, and big butt. It’s hard for me to find clothes that I think look good on me, or shirts and dresses that fit my big boobs, but I’m still learning. It’s hard for me to feel confident in a bathing suit… but I am LEARNING to love my body. It’s been a very long, hard journey for my body and I am starting to feel comfortable showing my scars on my legs and the stretch marks that cover my stomach. I feel much more confident than I ever have, and I love it so much. If anybody feels uncomfortable with their body, or feels like they aren’t beautiful enough because of their body: I THINK YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL! Everyone is unique and it’s okay to flaunt it. Fuck “flattering” clothes, fuck what people think is beautiful. YOU are gorgeous and I think your body is perfect. :)
Your feeble attempts to try and upset me just make you look all the more pathetic.